Lost Souls
by helterskelter3310
Summary: Kate and Claire are trying to move on and get back to normal after the island but when strange things start to happen they begin to question whether or not moving on is really what they want.
1. I Call Your Name

Kate was standing in the doorway of Aaron's room watching Claire gently stroke the boy's blonde head. It was such a tender moment that it made Kate's heart ache. Claire pressed a kiss to his forehead then walked towards Kate. They left the room and Claire quietly shut the door behind them.

"Thank you, again, for letting me stay with you." Claire said softly as they walked down stairs to the living room.

"I'm glad you're here." Kate said. After a moment of contemplation she added, "After what happened I'm not sure I'd even want to be alone."

Claire nodded in agreement as she sat at the kitchen table while Kate grabbed a water from the refrigerator. She sat down at the table across from Claire as she opened her water. Claire was staring at the tabletop. They'd been off the island for almost a week now and this was the first chance she'd had to really get a good look at her friend.

Claire looked ragged. She had dark bags under her eyes which now had a vacant quality about them that made Kate wonder if Claire was even present. The slight darkness of the kitchen was making the frown lines seem deeper and making her suddenly look years older. Kate had noticed Claire didn't smile as much as she used. She tried to keep up her old upbeat, positivity but Kate could tell when she was faking it. There was a haunted quality about Claire that broke Kate's heart everytime she noticed it.

Kate gently touched Claire's arm to bring her attention back to the present.

"Have you been sleeping?" She asked softly. Claire didn't answer right away. She turned her eyes back to the table.

"I try to." She mumbled to the table.

"What is it? Nightmares?" Kate held onto Claire's hand. She wanted to help her friend. Maybe helping someone and focusing on someone would make it easier to not think about her own problems.

"Memories." Claire was still looking at the table. She was biting her lip and clearly hiding something from her but Kate didn't want to push her too hard so she just gave Claire's hand a small reassuring squeeze. The corner's of her mouth turned up a little in a slight smile. Not long after that Claire left to go to bed and wandered up the stairs to the guest bedroom leaving Kate alone in the kitchen.

Normally Kate would've hated this quiet time by herself. She was avoiding her own memories at all costs. The less she thought about the island, about the people she'd lost...about him... the better. She couldn't even bring herself to think his name, it hurt too much. When the house was quiet and Claire was gone and the silence started to creep in on her is when those memories would surface.

She put the half-empty water bottle back in the refrigerator. She could feel the sadness start to sink in, weighing on her in a way nothing else could. It was like weight smothering her very soul. It ached through her entire body. Sometimes it hurt so bad she had no choice but to cry. She pressed her forehead against the refrigerator door, trying to will it to go away.

"Kate." She heard her name called softly from the short hallway that went from the living room to the kitchen. She quickly jumped away from the refrigerator and peeked into the hallway. Slowly she walked into the living room. It was empty. She peered up the stairs to see if someone was up there but no one was.

She looked around, nothing seemed to be out of place. A few of Aaron's toys were on the floor where he'd left them. The pillows were upright against the arms of the couch. Photos were still lined as close to even as she'd been able to hang them. Then she noticed the book Claire had been reading earlier was lying on the floor as if it had fallen off the coffee table. Kate walked over and bent to pick it up.

"Kate." A little louder this time. She whipped around, back toward the kitchen, with the book still in her hand. She ran into the kitchen, it was empty but it was much colder now than it had been. She tossed Claire's book onto the counter and fumbled with the child lock on the drawer that held the large kitchen knives. Once she had one firmly grasped in her hand she started to search the rest of the house.

She went around to every room on both floors, except for Claire's room since she didn't want to spook her, and no one was in the house that shouldn't be. She put the knife back where she'd found it, and put the book back on the coffee table and decided to go to bed. As she was getting ready she kept thinking about that voice. It was definitely female, and it didn't have even a trace of an Australian accent, so it wasn't Claire. But as Kate took her nightly sleeping pill she couldn't help but think that the voice sounded so familiar. But soon she was too groggy to try to put it together and as she drifted off to sleep it drifted far out of her mind.


	2. You All Everybody

Kate woke up to the sounds of giggling and the smell of bacon coming from downstairs. She smiled. It had taken a few days but Aaron was starting to come around to the idea that Claire was his real mother. She figured she'd give them a little more time to themselves before she went down there.

Still clad in her pajamas Kate grabbed her laptop from the floor and decided to do a little web browsing to keep her mind occupied. She opened it up but it was already on. She couldn't remember leaving it on but stranger things had happened. The web page it was still opened to was a medical research journal entry on mice. She couldn't remember ever having been interested in the fertility of field mice. She was about to close the window when a name caught her eye. Dr. Juliet Burke. Kate froze. The article was written by Juliet. A chill ran through her spine and she snapped the laptop shut and unceremoniously threw it to the other side of the bed.

The rest of the day went by without any incidents of strangeness other than a few moments when Claire would space off for a few minutes. Kate could wave her hand in front of the other woman's face and she wouldn't react right away. It was starting to worry Kate but she was going to give Claire time before she tried to confront her about it. Maybe she was still adjusting.

Once again Kate found herself in the kitchen late at night. Claire had gone to bed, or more likely was laying in bed reading. Half a bottle of beer sat in front of Kate on the counter. Her mind kept flashing to that article on her laptop. She didn't know anything about Juliet's work before she ended up on the island. How did that end up popping up on her laptop. She took another swig of her beer.

She rubbed her hands over her face, trying to keep her mind blank. Loud rock music started playing from the living room. It wasn't loud enough to wake Aaron, that she was sure of, that boy could sleep through anything. She slowly got off her chair. The lyrics started up and now she remembered why she recognized the song and she rushed into the hallway.

_You all everybody, you all everybody, acting you're stupid people wearin' expensive clothes._

"That is so not funny, Kate!" Claire was came storming down the stairs, reaching the living room just as Kate did. Her face went from pissed to confused. They both turned to the radio. Kate walked over first and popped open the CD holder.

Not only was there no Drive Shaft CD in it but there weren't any CDs in it. Claire pushed the power button the music stopped. Tears started to well up in her eyes as she said, "I never want to hear that song ever again."

Kate reached out for her but Claire just shrugged her off and went back upstairs. Kate watched her go and then pulled the radio's cord out of the wall just for good measure. No more Drive Shaft, ever, if that's what Claire wanted then it was fine with her.

Kate stared at the radio, daring it to try that shit again. It remained silent. Kate breathed a sigh of relief before retreating to the kitchen again.

She sat down at the table and just put her head down on her arms. She could feel it building up again. The reminder of Juliet had been bad enough but now Charlie too? It was too much and Kate couldn't hold it back anymore. She tried to stop the tears but it only hurt worse to keep in it. They ran down off her cheeks and splattered onto the table. The pain she felt burned through her as the sobs wracked her whole body.

She missed them all. She missed Sun. She missed Sayid. She missed Juliet. She could still see their faces. She could see Sawyer's face when Juliet let go. She could see Sun smiling at her in the hotel. She could practically hear Sayid telling her about the transceiver. But none of that compared to the hole in heart that Jack had left.

Thinking about him brought about the worst emotional pain she'd ever felt. It didn't even hurt this bad when her mother betrayed her. It wasn't fair. That damn island took him. She felt as though the pain and the tears would never stop. She could hear him, see him, he might as well have been in the room with her.

She felt a hand lightly touch her shoulder. Without looking up she reached around to cover that hand with her own only to find nothing there and the weight from it was gone. She sat up and jerked around only to find that she was still alone. She hadn't imagined. It was so real. There had been a hand on her shoulder, she thought it had been Claire.

"Fuck me" She breathed before quickly leaving the kitchen and going to her room where she could take a pill, pass out and not have to think.


	3. You Might Think I'm Crazy

Kate woke up groggy and with a headache late in the morning. She'd never slept in this late before. Normally she would sleep as little as possible. She didn't want to run the risk of dreaming. Or more specifically run the risk of dreaming of him and how it used to be, how it could have been and how it will never ever be.

She rolled onto her side without actually getting up. She felt tired and sluggish. There was a soft knock on the door. Claire opened it before Kate could answer.

"Aaron and I are going to visit my mother." Claire said as she leaned against the doorframe. "Did you want to tag along?"

"No, thanks. You guys go, I've got some errands I need to run." It seemed like a reasonable excuse when in reality she was aware that Claire's mom hated her.

Claire nodded and closed the door behind her. Kate waited until she heard the front door close before she left her room. She didn't even get dressed. She padded barefoot to the hallway that led to the kitchen and stopped. She remembered last night very vividly still. What bothered her more than a phantom hand was that it wasn't menacing. If anything it comforted her, of course it might've been because she thought it was Claire but still, weren't ghosts supposed to be scary? Weren't they supposed to jump out at you? Drag you down stairs by your ankles? Make your life hell?

Not that she thought what was happening was a ghost. She shook her head as she marched determinedly into the kitchen. No way. No such thing as ghosts. She went about making her breakfast and reassuring herself that it wasn't a ghost and that there were no such things as ghosts. Not here. Plus this house was too new, nobody had died here, so no ghosts.

She took her bowl of cereal into the living room and turned on the TV. It was on the animal channel, Aaron was going through a phase where he loved watching documentaries about different animals. He didn't understand most of what was said but he loved animals. This one was about polar bears. Kate hit the button for the next channel. Court TV was showing a hearing on a young man shot by his mother. She quickly changed the channel again. Her nerves were on edge again. It was some random sitcom she didn't recognize. She relaxed a little and started eating.

"Does anyone here speak French" One of the characters was saying.

"My sister does!" Kate's spoon stopped halfway to her mouth. "She spent a year in France." Kate quickly shut the TV off. Apparently there was no avoiding it.

Early in the afternoon Kate went for a walk in an attempt to clear her head. She walked past locally owned restaurants and small businesses. A man who smelled as though he hadn't showered for a week stumbled past her. She turned her nose away from him.

"Desmond, don't do that!" Kate attention was caught by a mother and her young son who was trying to grab something from the ground. "Don't bother with it Desmond it's just a penny."

Kate swallowed hard and walked faster venturing further downtown and into the busier shopping district. So many people were out and about their snippets of conversation overlapped each other and she thankfully couldn't make out anything in particular. She walked a few more block before entering a large grocery store. She wandered up and down the aisles without actually grabbing anything. She just wanted something to do. She eventually settled on buying a bottle of pop. As the cashier was ringing up her purchase his name tag flashed in the light and caught her eye.

Jack

She didn't even see his last name. That familiar ache set in again. She was trying so hard not to break down in public that she ran out of the store and straight across the street. Brakes screeched to a halt and she felt someone shove her to the ground as a car whooshed by.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" The woman that had thrown her to the ground was now kneeling beside her. Kate caught a glimpse of a dark blue uniform before raising her eyes higher.

"Ana Lucia?" Kate said confused.

"You're lucky I was here or you'd be a goner." Ana Lucia scowled at Kate. "You'd be lost like the others."

"What others?" Kate asked as Ana Lucia pulled her to her feet and led her back to the sidewalk. She was so real. This had to be a hallucination. She'd seen the body. Ana Lucia was dead, yet here she was gripping her arm.

"Most of it's over my head." She said as she continued to quickly walk with Kate down the sidewalk. "But what I do know is that not everybody made it. So don't expect everyone. And it's not all the time, it takes a lot of energy to be here like this."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Ana Lucia stopped and turned to face Kate. Her dark eyes bore into Kate's. She didn't squirm though, she'd been glared at like that before so she stood her ground and wouldn't give in to Ana Lucia.

"Haven't you been getting the signs?" She asked exasperatedly.

"Wha-" Kate stopped mid question. Weird things HAD been happening.

"That's what I thought." Ana Lucia said with a smirk and continued walking. "I don't have much time, but you're very important so don't do any more stupid shit like you just did." Ana Lucia said and then vanished before Kate could ask any more questions. She spun around, but she was alone. She hadn't even realized that they'd walked all the way to the block she lived on.

"Losing my fucking mind." Kate mumbled to herself as she unlocked the front door and stepped inside. She heard footsteps coming down the stairs and was relieved to see it was Claire.

"Aaron's staying with my mother tonight. I wanted to talk to you about something." Claire looked better than she had the past few days Kate noticed. She looked, well, happy. Or at least closer to it than she had seen in a long time.

"Oh, okay. What is it?" Claire didn't answer, just smiled.

"Well it probably has to do with us." A calm voice answered from behind Kate. She turned around to see two people sitting in the living room.

"Hello Kate." Juliet said. She was sitting on the far side of the couch in the blue button up shirt like the one she wore on the island.

"Not exactly what you were expecting, eh?" Charlie said with a wide smile unlike the one Juliet usually had, his held no trace of sadness. He was perched on the arm of the couch closest to them. He had his old striped hoodie on and his jeans had holes in the knees exposing his skin below.

They looked so real. Kate's eyes teared up as Juliet rose from the couch and in a few quick strides wrapped Kate up in a hug. She couldn't help the smile on her face and when Charlie joined in on their hug the tears finally spilled over but for once they weren't tears of sadness.


	4. Behind Blue Eyes

Kate reluctantly pulled away from Juliet and Charlie. She started shaking her head, unable to find the right words.

"How?" She ended up asking. It wasn't nearly enough but it would work. Claire quietly stepped away from the stairs to stand next to Kate.

"Honestly, I'm not entirely sure." Juliet answered. "I think Daniel is the only person who understands it but he's kind of-"

"Crazy?" Charlie filled in.

"-well, he's Daniel." Juliet substituted with a disapproving look at Charlie who just shrugged. Kate nodded in understanding with a smile.

She slowly crossed over to the couch and sat down. Claire sat in the armchair across from it, while Charlie sat on the arm of it and Juliet sat next to Kate.

Juliet was staring at Kate like she was waiting for something. Waiting for Kate to say something, or do something. When she stared into Juliet's eyes it was like a movie played out in her head. One that involved a dislocated shoulder, the motor pool and a surgery performed in a tent. Images of her letting go of Sawyer's hand seemed to burn into her eyes. Blinking didn't get rid of it. She tore her eyes away from Juliet and it vanished.

"Are you guys," she paused, knowing it would sound silly to say out loud. "Ghosts?"

Kate could see Charlie squirm from the corner of her eye but Juliet stayed still. Those brilliant blue eyes stared right at her. This time she was careful not to look too hard. Would the same thing happen if she looked into Charlie's eyes?

"Yes."

Kate couldn't help the shudder that ran through her back. She leaned away from Juliet. It was chilling. She knew they were dead but hearing it made her feel as though as she was sitting beside a corpse. Like it was the shell of the person she had known.

"But we're still here. It's still us. It's still me." Juliet pleaded, Kate could see the hurt and the pain in her eyes. Kate looked down and covered her eyes with one of her hands. This was too much. It's not possible.

"We're still real. I promise." Kate felt Juliet's hand on her knee and she had a sudden realization that it was Juliet's voice that had called out her name. It was as if her touch had unlocked a memory that Kate hadn't known was there. She knew it had been Juliet. Suddenly the weight of her hand was gone. Kate uncovered her eyes to see Claire looking around slightly panicked. Juliet and Charlie were both gone.

"Charlie?"

Silence. Claire put her down on the arm of the chair. Kate felt frazzled and tired. Her head was pounding. There was so much that didn't make sense to her. She gently patted Claire's shoulder as she made her way up to her room. She pulled out her bottle of sleeping pills from the bedside table. She shook out a couple into her hand and popped them into her mouth. She didn't even bother to go about her normal routine. She wanted to sleep, to forget this whole day and never had to think about ghosts ever again.

She woke up the next morning in a daze. There was numbness to her mind that she cherished. She rolled to her right and found Claire had joined her sometime in the night. Kate's numbness edged slightly to guilt. Claire had probably needed some sort of human comfort last night but she'd been so out on the pills she hadn't even noticed.

With hopes of getting rid of her guilt Kate went to the kitchen. She was in the hallway when a black shadow quickly flashed across the doorway.

"Juliet?" She called out softly, trying to hide her hopefulness. "Charlie?" She stepped forward lightly but was disappointed to find no one there. After an hour Kate checked on Claire who was awake but apparently had no intention of leaving bed. Kate decided to go make her routine trip to the drug store downtown. The small store was cramped and only a few customers were waiting in line.

"Name?"

"Kate Austen." She replied. She handed over the prescription. The pharmacist handed her the paper bag with the bottle in it.

Kate walked out into the brilliant sunlight and immediately put her sunglasses back on. She took her time going back to the house, she found she could think better when outside. She came to the conclusion that she had seen two ghosts in her house last night. She wanted to make sure they really were who they said they were. She'd seen enough of the ghost shows to know that sometimes darker things would pretend to be a loved one just to torment a person. She also needed to know who was there. She wanted to know how many people from the island were now ghosts hanging around her house.

Now all she had to do was figure out the best way to do that. She'd made it all the way to the front door before it finally hit her. Miles. She smiled and stepped back away from the door as she dug around in her pocket for her cell phone.


End file.
